A Million Things Every Woman Needs

Several years ago, while working as a paraprofessional, I was assigned to the classroom of an exceptional eighth-grade teacher named Mrs. Rainey. Mrs. Rainey loved to read and sought to instill that love into her students. At the beginning of each school year, in an effort to get to know her students, Mrs. Rainey would assign each of their parents an essay entitled, "A Million Words or Less.” The premise was to simply tell Mrs. Rainey everything each parent felt this teacher needed to know about their child.

Now, did Mrs. Rainey look forward to reading "a million words times one hundred twenty students" at the beginning of each busy school year? Somehow, I doubt even Mrs. Rainey loved reading that much! But her effective use of hyperbole left a lasting impression on this writer.

So it is with that in mind, and in honor of Mrs. Rainey, I present the topic of this blog post today:

A Million Things Every Woman Needs

Now, before you scroll on by, thinking to yourself, TLDR! (meaning "Too Long, Didn't Read" for any 20th-century ladies out there who aren't up on your internet shorthand), You can rest assured that this writer would take the position of TLDW--(Too Long, Didn't Write! 😂).

I simply hope to present to you here a few things that you may already know you need (and maybe a few you never knew you needed), expanding on the former, and fleshing out the latter while hopefully having a bit of fun along the way.

You are infinitely loved by your Creator, who went to the bowels of death and back so He could be in a consensual, mutual, intimate relationship WITH YOU!

I can't help but begin this list with the most obvious and essential thing every woman needs:

Chocolate!

I am thoroughly convinced--though I can't explicitly prove it scripturally--that our Heavenly Father created chocolate with his precious daughters in mind. After all, the Word of God does say, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights..." (James 1:17a), and certainly, this gift is at the top of the list! Chocolate found its way to Abba's daughters over the course of centuries, beginning its journey from what is now Mexico, where cacao beans were used as currency! Just think of how much Abba loves and values his daughters that He would literallygive us currency to eat as a sweet indulgence! Such extravagant love!

Now I know that chocolate is not every woman's favorite, but my children so well understand my affection for chocolate, that not a single gift-giving occasion passes without at least one of them seeing to it that Mom has her chocolate supply replenished! My children 'GET ME.' 💝

Which leads me to the second thing on our 'million things' list:

Every woman needs to know someone GETS HER!

Whether that be a best friend, confidant, counselor, or husband, we long to connect with someone with whom we feel so at ease that no explanation or justification is necessary for our own actions or feelings.

So often we go through life with the nagging awareness that we are misunderstood. It may be that a co-worker or boss misunderstands our motives. Maybe a family member has a misconception of what makes us tick. I even know a lady whose own husband didn't know that her least favorite color was blue, and threw her a birthday party with a blue theme! Even though they had been married for over 10 years (and while it was a nice gesture), he just didn't GET HER.

After all these years of living life, I no longer think it strange when others don't 'Get Me.’ I've learned that being misunderstood goes hand-in-hand with simply walking through our life's journey. But take heart!

Psalm 139:1 says, "O LORD, You have searched me and known me.……you understand my thought afar off...."

Perhaps, just as we have a 'God-shaped hole in our hearts that only He can fill,' maybe this need to be understood without limits can only be met by Him.

What if it is by design that EVERY and ALL of our deepest needs can only fully be fulfilled by Jesus Himself through a personal relationship with Him? What if the more we get to know Him, the more fully all our deep emotional needs are met?

Rest assured that you are known and understood so deeply by your Heavenly Father. And He knows how it feels to be misunderstood. He was tempted in all points just as we are, (yet without sinning in response.) Your Abba has been misunderstood from the very beginning.

From the time the serpent in the garden twisted Abba's motives to this very day, Abba has longed for His people to 'GET HIM.’ Remember, He is our Creator, and one cannot create what one does not already possess. He created us in HIS image and after HIS likeness. If we long to be accepted and understood, it is because He longed for that first.

Yes, God, the Creator of all things, longs to be accepted, understood, and loved unconditionally, so He went to exceptional lengths to create a people in hopes that out of that human race would emerge those who genuinely loved Him. And that's why,

Every woman needs to be loved.

Of course, this goes without saying. My point is that since you are created in the image of your Creator, you come by that naturally. No matter how much the enemy of your soul attempts to convince you that you are unlovable, no matter how much life's reality has contradicted this truth—

You. Are. Loved.

Not only are you loved by a select few other humans, but you are infinitely more loved by your Creator, who went to the bowels of death and back, so He could be in a consensual, mutual, intimate relationship WITH YOU! If that doesn't heal some of the most insecure corners of your soul, just meditate on it until it does! But that is best done by shutting out the chaos, turning down the volume on the endless cacophony served up by the world, and seeking Him in the stillness. And so, we look to the next need on our million-needs list:

Every woman NEEDS solitude.

Did I mention that I have eight children? Yes, all mine. No, no adoptions. No, I'm not part of a blended family. No multiple births. And no, I don't come from a large family.

They were all about two years apart, except for three years between the first two, four years between the last two, (because I miscarried Enoch John between the last two. Please, no sympathy. That is a thoroughly healed place in my heart. And even though my bio says I have eight children, I look forward to meeting the ninth someday, because Heaven is very real to me.)

And, yes, I used to be Catholic, but that isn't why I had so many children. If I had to narrow it down to one reason, it would have to be the reality of abortion.

I remember sitting on the couch in my living room one evening watching a documentary on the mechanics of abortion. I learned that day that even birth control pills don't prevent conception--they only prevent implantation. In my heart-brokenness, I remember whispering a prayer to the Lord. 'Your babies are safe with me, Lord.' And the Lord took me up on that.

I think that covers all the usual questions that being the matriarch of a large brood brings. Now, on to the reason I bring it up: In the early days of motherhood, when I was facing the endless barrage of runny noses, dirty diapers, hungry mouths, skinned knees, and sibling squabbles- I LONGED for solitude.

It seemed that there was not a single minute in the day when I wasn't meeting one need or another until I fell, literally exhausted, into bed at night. Early morning, while the littles were still asleep, was my lifeline. And on the days that the kids got up before me, I could tell the difference. It was in the solitude that I could bask in the life-giving words of the Bible. It was in the stillness that I could receive guidance, grace, and strength for the coming day.

I learned early on from Psalm 119:18 to pray, "Holy Spirit, open my eyes that I may behold wondrous things from your law," and He never failed to do so.

Now that I've transitioned to being the mother of eight adults, it is still in the stillness of the morning that I find grace for the demands of the coming day. And when I oversleep, and rush into that day, I can tell that I'm proceeding on the fumes of yesterday's grace.

I encourage you to begin your day by taking advantage of God's gift of solitude. And if you don't quite know where to start, I recommend reading the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to the calendar date. If you do this for one year, you will have sown much wisdom in your heart and will notice a difference in how you approach life's challenges.

If you've stuck with me until now, congratulate yourself on exploring the first of a million things every woman needs. Only 999,996 more to go! But I think Mrs. Rainey would be okay with that. 😉